feeding twins


I was on my own. Alone with two helpless, hungry babies. I was bottle feeding, and nursing, and pumping, and mixing formula, and washing bottles, and changing diapers, and cleaning spit up, and soothing sore nipples, and I lost it. It was too much...
Today I'm over on San Francisco Moms Blog talking about my journey feeding the twins. Read the full post here!

The best parenting advice we ever got, before we even had kids


Let me just start off by saying that while I was the one who really wanted to get a puppy, a large part of me was worried that my husband would love the dog more than me. I assumed that adding a shiny new member to our family would mean I would get demoted. Surely the amount of love you have to give is finite and if you add another “thing”, you have to take some love away from something else.

But that’s just simply not true. I know that now.

When we suddenly became pregnant with twins, I was convinced, yet again, that I would get demoted on the “love scale”. Surely, my husband would love the babies more than me.

But then I remembered the best marriage/parenting advice we ever received: Love your partner first. 

How do you love your kids well? Love your partner first.
How do you maintain a thriving marriage post kids? Love your partner first.
How do you ride the wave of stress and chaos with kids? Love your partner first.
How do you make room for more love in your family? Love your partner first.

Our twins traumatically arrived seven weeks early and it was terrifying. My husband 100% showed up for me. Yes, of course he was thinking about our tiny preemies in the NICU but they were in good hands. Our hearts grew to include these new babies into our world. Those babies wouldn’t be here without the two of us. At the end of the day, the best we could do for them was to love each other really well, above anything else.

We are partners in this parenting thing. It’s important to us that we are a united front. Sure, we employ different strategies when it comes to tummy time and diaper changes but the important thing is that we show up for each other. In these early days with small babies, we are giving a lot and it can feel close to impossible to save anything for each other. But we do. At least we try.

Love isn’t finite. It’s grows and expands and strengthens. It fits in all the cracks and crevices and it fills up all the spaces. I’m continuously impressed by the amount of love we have to give. But it takes work. You have to intentionally make space for it. Sometimes that means letting the other person sleep in or going on a solo dog walk. Sometimes that means planning an outing for the whole family. Sometimes that means getting a sitter. And sometimes it just means and extra five minutes in bed together. And while at first it may feel hard to love your partner first, it transforms the way you are able to love those around you.

A quick note about self-care: It’s likely impossible to love anyone around you if you’re not practicing self-care. My intention is not to imply that you should love your partner before yourself.

five years of marriage


This month, C and I celebrated five years of marriage. While five years doesn't seem like a lot, SO much has happened in the years that we've been married.

Over the past five years:

We moved four times
C got an MBA
I had four different jobs
We traveled a lot (eight different countries!)
We got a new car
We got a puppy (hi Haven!)
We had two the same time

It's been an intense and full marriage - a whirlwind from the day we said "I do." The best part about these years is that I got to share all these moments with my best friend. 

All this transition and change can put so much strain and pressure on a relationship. I'm thankful that we've been able to tackle each hurdle with grace and humor. 

I've learned that it's possible to love someone more and more each year. 

I've learned that you need to intentionally make time for your partner and also make space. 

I've learned that there is joy in the mundane. 

I've learned that cake and coffee solve many problems. 

I've learned that sleep deprivation is the worst form of torture. 

As the years get crazier, I'm confident that this marriage we're building will get stronger and stronger. 
the best jeans ever

the best jeans ever


Starting tomorrow, you too can own the BEST JEANS EVER (or today! if you have the Nordstrom card). 

Ab-solution Skinny Jeans,
                        color, In- Indigo
Wit & Wisdom Ab-Solution Jeans // Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

But let's back up for a minute and talk about jeans. For the last 8 months I've spent about 80% of my time wearing some form of legging because...babies twins. On the rare occasion I smush myself into jeans, it's somewhat unpleasant. While I can fit back in my old jeans, they don't feel the same due to the changes in my midsection. Jeans just aren't as comfortable since I'm always hunched over rolling on the floor.

My current stash of jeans are all from Everlane (these in every color) and while I do really love them, they are TRUE jeans with no stretch. They are great for days when I'm not trying to wrangle babies.

I've finally found the perfect jeans that are not leggings but are so comfortable. Here's the secret - they have a hidden ELASTIC waistband! I know what you're thinking, "no thanks I'm not a toddler!" but hear me out.

You cannot tell that the inside of the waistband is elastic. The jeans themselves have lots of stretch but they aren't thin. The waist is SO comfortable especially for postpartum mamas. They suck you in in all the right places while still allowing you to breathe.

To top if all off, these Wit & Wisdom jeans are part of the Nordstrom Anniversary sale and you can get them for a steal at $44.90. Get them now!

my decision to work part-time


Before the twins were born, I was working full-time remotely for 33Vincent. I seriously loved the work and my clients. It was a blessing to be able to keep my job when we moved from Charlottesville to San Francisco last summer and not have to add another transition (especially while pregnant).

As I prepared for my maternity leave, it was unclear what work would look like once the twins arrived. I initially assumed I would resume work in a few months and just fit it in around naps and downtime. I honestly didn't have a clear picture of how it would all work. I was also totally clueless about childcare. But I just assumed it would all work itself out.

Luckily when the twins arrived quite ahead of schedule, I had already done all the transition prep for my leave. My clients were in good hands and my team was mostly ready for my sudden departure.

To be honest, work was the furthest thing from my mind after delivering. It was all quite traumatic and I couldn't even fathom going back to work. I was barely sleeping. I was both mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

As we started to find our groove (and get more sleep!), I felt quite attached to the babies and didn't feel like I wanted to leave them in someone else's care. Also the financials just didn't really make sense. Childcare in SF is incredibly expensive and we have to pay up since there are two babies. Even share-care or daycare didn't lower the cost.

Throughout this time, my team at 33V was patient, supportive, and gracious. We had conversations that were open-ended and encouraging. There wasn't a timeline, no pressure.

Sometime in late February/early March, the days started to feel really, really long. It was tough being isolated at home all day and I missed getting to have adult conversations. (To those of you who spent many hours FaceTiming with me, THANK YOU!) 

I decided to explore getting a part-time nanny - just 12 hours a week so that I could do a little work. I knew that I would be a better, more present, more engaged mom if I had a little time to fill up my own bucket.

So here we are. Three days a week, I escape to my little co-working space to do a little work. Some days I also sneak in a pilates class. Other days I have to go to the dentist (boo!) or buy baby food at Target. But I've come to really cherish this time. When I get home, I feel more present and productive.

It's so hard to know what will feel right once you have a baby when it comes to work. I was so convinced that there was NO way I could go back. But that phase passed and I know that for us, right now, working part-time is the right fit. I love that I don't have to rush off to an office and be chained to a desk all day. I love that I have flexibility to get things done and that my kiddos are in good hands. I love that they get to play with someone new!

I would encourage everyone to think creatively about work and what you value in work. If I hadn't done some of that exploration early on (thanks Callan!), I'm positive I would have not made good decisions about work post babies.
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