my decision to work part-time

Before the twins were born, I was working full-time remotely for 33Vincent. I seriously loved the work and my clients. It was a blessing to be able to keep my job when we moved from Charlottesville to San Francisco last summer and not have to add another transition (especially while pregnant).

As I prepared for my maternity leave, it was unclear what work would look like once the twins arrived. I initially assumed I would resume work in a few months and just fit it in around naps and downtime. I honestly didn't have a clear picture of how it would all work. I was also totally clueless about childcare. But I just assumed it would all work itself out.

Luckily when the twins arrived quite ahead of schedule, I had already done all the transition prep for my leave. My clients were in good hands and my team was mostly ready for my sudden departure.

To be honest, work was the furthest thing from my mind after delivering. It was all quite traumatic and I couldn't even fathom going back to work. I was barely sleeping. I was both mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

As we started to find our groove (and get more sleep!), I felt quite attached to the babies and didn't feel like I wanted to leave them in someone else's care. Also the financials just didn't really make sense. Childcare in SF is incredibly expensive and we have to pay up since there are two babies. Even share-care or daycare didn't lower the cost.

Throughout this time, my team at 33V was patient, supportive, and gracious. We had conversations that were open-ended and encouraging. There wasn't a timeline, no pressure.

Sometime in late February/early March, the days started to feel really, really long. It was tough being isolated at home all day and I missed getting to have adult conversations. (To those of you who spent many hours FaceTiming with me, THANK YOU!) 

I decided to explore getting a part-time nanny - just 12 hours a week so that I could do a little work. I knew that I would be a better, more present, more engaged mom if I had a little time to fill up my own bucket.

So here we are. Three days a week, I escape to my little co-working space to do a little work. Some days I also sneak in a pilates class. Other days I have to go to the dentist (boo!) or buy baby food at Target. But I've come to really cherish this time. When I get home, I feel more present and productive.

It's so hard to know what will feel right once you have a baby when it comes to work. I was so convinced that there was NO way I could go back. But that phase passed and I know that for us, right now, working part-time is the right fit. I love that I don't have to rush off to an office and be chained to a desk all day. I love that I have flexibility to get things done and that my kiddos are in good hands. I love that they get to play with someone new!

I would encourage everyone to think creatively about work and what you value in work. If I hadn't done some of that exploration early on (thanks Callan!), I'm positive I would have not made good decisions about work post babies.

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