SLIDER

my decision to work part-time

7.02.2018

Before the twins were born, I was working full-time remotely for 33Vincent. I seriously loved the work and my clients. It was a blessing to be able to keep my job when we moved from Charlottesville to San Francisco last summer and not have to add another transition (especially while pregnant).



As I prepared for my maternity leave, it was unclear what work would look like once the twins arrived. I initially assumed I would resume work in a few months and just fit it in around naps and downtime. I honestly didn't have a clear picture of how it would all work. I was also totally clueless about childcare. But I just assumed it would all work itself out.

Luckily when the twins arrived quite ahead of schedule, I had already done all the transition prep for my leave. My clients were in good hands and my team was mostly ready for my sudden departure.

To be honest, work was the furthest thing from my mind after delivering. It was all quite traumatic and I couldn't even fathom going back to work. I was barely sleeping. I was both mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

As we started to find our groove (and get more sleep!), I felt quite attached to the babies and didn't feel like I wanted to leave them in someone else's care. Also the financials just didn't really make sense. Childcare in SF is incredibly expensive and we have to pay up since there are two babies. Even share-care or daycare didn't lower the cost.

Throughout this time, my team at 33V was patient, supportive, and gracious. We had conversations that were open-ended and encouraging. There wasn't a timeline, no pressure.

Sometime in late February/early March, the days started to feel really, really long. It was tough being isolated at home all day and I missed getting to have adult conversations. (To those of you who spent many hours FaceTiming with me, THANK YOU!) 

I decided to explore getting a part-time nanny - just 12 hours a week so that I could do a little work. I knew that I would be a better, more present, more engaged mom if I had a little time to fill up my own bucket.

So here we are. Three days a week, I escape to my little co-working space to do a little work. Some days I also sneak in a pilates class. Other days I have to go to the dentist (boo!) or buy baby food at Target. But I've come to really cherish this time. When I get home, I feel more present and productive.

It's so hard to know what will feel right once you have a baby when it comes to work. I was so convinced that there was NO way I could go back. But that phase passed and I know that for us, right now, working part-time is the right fit. I love that I don't have to rush off to an office and be chained to a desk all day. I love that I have flexibility to get things done and that my kiddos are in good hands. I love that they get to play with someone new!

I would encourage everyone to think creatively about work and what you value in work. If I hadn't done some of that exploration early on (thanks Callan!), I'm positive I would have not made good decisions about work post babies.

out as long as they were in

6.28.2018

I was pregnant for 33 weeks and the twins are now 33 weeks old. What!

Because I got so big, so fast - carrying two babies at the time - it felt like I was pregnant forever. But looking back on it now, I feel like the pregnancy flew by. I cannot believe the twins will be ONE in just a few short months.













I'm going to say something potentially controversial - I didn't like being pregnant. It was fine and I was grateful to have minimal complications despite being high risk. But I didn't feel like a goddess or extra womanly or energized by creating life. Being pregnant felt like the necessary means to have a child (or children) of our own.

I'm not really sure why it's controversial to dislike being pregnant. It's like this big secret. But I think it's ok. I connected much more with my babies once they were on the outside (and home from the NICU). Despite growing them inside me, I felt quite detached from the process. When I saw ultrasound photos, it's was nearly impossible to imagine them inside me.

Of course I felt them moving which was cool but also often uncomfortable. And I feel so lucky that we were able to have kiddos that share our genes as I know many long for this. But I think it's important to be honest about our experiences.

I'm proud of what my body accomplished but I'm ready to get back in shape. I don't want the fact that I carried twins to be an excuse for saggy skin and separated abs. I want to be a strong mom who can lift her 17lb babies without grunting.

I'm ready to put the pregnancy and the trauma behind me. I have two healthy, happy, thriving babies who need a strong, healthy, happy mama.

There's approximately 931 weeks left until they are 18. 

latest edition of things not to say to twin moms

6.27.2018

I had so much fun putting together this list for the SF Moms Blog compiled entirely from things I've actually heard!

What funny things have people said to you while pregnant or as a new mom?


napa with babies

6.23.2018

We are at the perfect age to take the twins to Napa and here's why. At 7 months (6 months adjusted) they aren't mobile yet but are super interested in new environments which means they are easily entertained just by hanging out. The other weekend we decided to make the most of this immobile phase and made the 90 minute journey up to Landmark Vineyards in Kenwood, CA.



I get asked questions a lot about how we go on outings with the twins. It's actually quite simple as long as you do a little bit of thinking ahead. 

We left right around when they would be taking their next nap which for us is about 1pm. Our plan was that they would sleep in the car for at least an hour and arrive rested. I packed bottles to give them when we got there. Their "awake time" would be while we were up at the vineyard. We planned to head back no later than 5pm so they could take a short catnap on the way home. 

This ended up working out great for our kiddos. They are pretty good about sleeping in the car and they got a good nap in on the way up. They were happy and alert when we arrived. 

Landmark is PERFECT for families or people with dogs. There is lots of green space to run around and the staff was very welcoming and accommodating. They even brought us some bubbles for the babies. 

It wasn't crowded (we went on a Sunday) so we didn't feel awkward about an excited, noisy baby. The key to going out with the twins, I've learned, is to just mostly ignore the people around you. At this point, I'm used to people staring and pointing and loudly saying, "Wow! Twins!" We try to just keep to ourselves and not make a bit fuss about our motley crew.

But on to the most important part, the wine! It was delicious! Landmark is a sister vineyard to Justin. They specialize in Pinot Noir and Chardonnay - our current favorites. We really enjoyed the low key tasting and managed to join the wine club on the way our (why does that always happen?). 

We're already looking forward to going back soon!



Finding out we were having twins

6.11.2018

When I got pregnant somewhat unexpectedly, that news alone was shocking. But then to find out we were having twins…there were really no words.

We decided to tell our families that we were pregnant last year on Mother’s Day when I was about eight weeks along. My sister jokingly said, “What if it’s twins?!” and I brushed it off thinking, That would be a massive belly. Twins came up again in conversation at dinner with my husband’s grandmother, but again, we really thought nothing of it.

Read the full story here!


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