weird things people say when you're pregnant with twins | vol. 1


I'd always heard that people make bizarre comments to pregnant women but I was wholly unprepared for the kind of comments I'd get with twins. (Not to mention the touching!) Here are some of the things people have said to me:

Are they natural?
I get that IVF and fertility treatments are much more widely discussed but do I really need to disclose to you how my babies were conceived? Is one better or worse than the other?

Do twins run in your family? Did you plan for twins?
 [See also: Are they natural?]
This is the more subtle version of "Are they natural?". Again, I understand that people are typically just surprised and they are making conversation but it honestly just feels kind of awkward to me. Also most sources out there say that twins are completely random. So if I say "yes" then do you want me to tell you how my aunt's sister's cousin had twins? And if I say "no" are you just going to assume we used fertility treatments (not that there is anything wrong with that). I usually just say "We were just as surprised as you!"

After telling people the genders (boy/girl)... Are they identical? 
I mean...

After telling people the genders (boy/girl)... That's so perfect!
Would it be less perfect if they were two boys or two girls? When you have a child, is there really a perfect gender?

Two at once! Now you can be done!
What if we wanted 15? What if we only wanted one? It's just awkward to comment on the number of children someone has or wants.

I always wanted twins!
Really? Because to be honest, I sobbed when we found out. Most days when I think about the thought of raising two babies at the same time, I become utterly paralyzed by fear. I'm thrilled and honored to be their mom but that doesn't mean I'm not overwhelmed and terrified. Also, growing twins is not kind to the body. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful but twins are scary!

At 24 weeks and I've already started to hear...
When are you due? / You must be due soon!
I would have thought you were further along!
How are two babies going to fit in there? 
You're not going to be able to get that much bigger!

Every belly is different. I've been to several prenatal classes and everyone looks completely different. At 24 weeks, there's over 2 lbs of baby in there already (as compared to only about 1 lb on average for a singleton birth) so OF COURSE I'm larger than your "average" singleton mamma. In fact, I'm extremely aware of the fact that I still have 14 weeks to go and already feel/look huge. I'm trying very hard to mentally prepare myself for the third trimester so your size comments are incredibly unhelpful.

PSA: The ONLY acceptable thing to say to ANY pregnant women is:

You look amazing! You are stunning! Wow, you are beautiful!

Stay tuned for Vol. 2 after the twins arrive!

the apartment search


View of the kitchen and living room. This is the staging furniture, not ours.

This story (luckily) has a happy ending.

Immediately upon finding out we were moving to San Francisco, we were warned about housing.
  • It's expensive.
  • It's competitive.
  • It's usually small.
  • It's usually old. 
  • Location is everything.
  • You'll pay through the nose for location.
  • You need a blood sample and your last 17 addresses to even qualify.
  • You'll stand in lines at open houses that last for 15 minutes. 
  • But surely you won't be homeless so long as you're willing to cough up the dough. 
I started doing a little online browsing months ago and was a bit distressed. Our list of requirements was quite specific given our circumstances:
  • Dog Friendly
  • Washer/Dryer in-unit (I'm not trekking to a sketchy basement every day to wash onesies)
  • Minimal stairs (hi, double stroller)
  • Parking (hi, twins in carseats)
  • At least 1,000 sqft (2BR)
  • Walking distance to helpful amenities
For those of you not living in cities, this may seem like a reasonable list. In SF, it was laughable. Each time I filtered for more of our criteria in Craiglist, less and less apartments met the search requirements. And the best ones, were upwards of $8k-$10k/month (I am not exaggerating).

By some miracle, we were able to find a few contenders and I spent a good portion of our drive out here on the phone making appointments to see available units. Then I would cross my fingers that the place we still be available in 2-3 days when we arrived.

When we got in on Friday, we hit the ground running and saw 4 different places. It was great to get started quickly and get a feel for what was out there. We saw something that was in a less desirable location but brand new with an elevator and parking. We saw something in a good location but it was too small. We saw another unit that was big, old and in the ideal location but not ideal parking. And this became the theme. Every place had lots of pros but then one or two key cons.

In our desperation to make sure we wouldn't be homeless, we ended up filling out 3 applications and by Monday night, I was sitting on 3 leases. The process didn't turn out to be as competitive as we thought but we ended up changing out mind a lot which was interesting. And then of course, we couldn't stop browsing Craigslist just ONE more time to make sure we hadn't missed anything.

In the end, we chose conveniences like parking and an elevator (hello, double stroller) over a few extra square feet. The location is amazing, literally steps from an awesome park where dogs can be off leash and a huge playground. It's brand spanking new which if course if lovely. We definitely plan to get creative with storage but the other cool thing about SF is all the neat companies that make life easier like storage places that pick up your stuff, catalogue it, and store it. Then you can request single items to be delivered at any time. So cool!

Meanwhile, the status of our moving truck is another story for another day...

day 5: monterey, CA / day 6: san francisco, CA


455 miles.

This was our shortest day by far and while we could have made it all the way to San Fran, our Airbnb wasn't available until Friday so we decided to drag out the trip just a little more. We found a cute guesthouse on Airbnb and booked it Thursday morning just before leaving Palm Springs. Bonus: the place came with aquarium tickets which made for a fun activity on Friday morning.

We had a smooth drive through LA and up to Monterey. We managed to stop at In-n-Out for lunch which I have to say, tasted better than I remembered. We arrived in Monterey around 5pm and had a quick chat with the adorable owners / hosts. We then ventured into the downtown area for dinner. We ate at a great craft brewery and then made a stop for some ice cream.

In the morning, we took Haven for a long walk into town for breakfast and then hit up the aquarium before our quick 2 hour drive up to San Fran.

We arrived at our Airbnb around 2pm after a slightly nerve wracking drive into the city. City life will take a little getting used to. Our place for the next 2 weeks is great and worked out nicely because it's in the most ideal neighborhood.

While in the car, I set up a few apartment showings for the afternoon so after getting settled, we went on the hunt!

On the way to our first showing, we passed another place I'd seen on Craigslist but wasn't able to view until next week. The current tenants were outside with some furniture to sell and they kindly gave us a quick tour. Turns out, Craig and the current tenant had a lot in common and knew mutual people from their work worlds. What are the odds that the first people we meet in SF would have a connection.

After 4 apartment viewings, 20,000 steps, and a delicious dinner, we're pooped. It's been great to explore the city a bit and get a feel for the apartment options. We're ready for a full day of showings tomorrow!

day 4: palm springs, CA


506 miles.

With the shifting time zones and the dog, we have no problem becoming early risers this week and today was no different. We were up at 5:30am which was good because we wanted to get an early start on our adventure to the Grand Canyon. After everyone was walked and fed, we were in car by about 7am with the Grand Canyon in the GPS.

We opted to enter at the East gate which we heard was less crowded and afforded us a more interesting drive. It was really peaceful driving out there and observing the amazing landscape. Once we were through the gates, we made our first stop at the Watchtower which was MUCH less crowded than the rest of the park and made for a pleasant first experience. Since we arrived around 8:30am, it wasn't hot yet so we enjoyed walking around and taking photos.

We then continued along the South Rim to the main Visitor Center which was overrun already and it was only about 9:30am. It was nice to be outside and walk around a bit but it was getting hot FAST. After a few more photo ops, we were back in the car and on our way again.

The rest of the drive through Arizona was nice. The southwest has some amazing landscape and it's sometimes hard to remember we're still in the U.S. We crossed the border into California and started to head slightly south for our detour to Palm Springs.

Driving through the desert was insane. The car temperature gauge read 109 degrees for over an hour. It was so deserted and honestly, slightly creepy. It's a good thing we had a full tank of gas!

Craig got his wish of being on Route 66 for a small stretch as we wound our way toward Palm Springs. We made it to our adorable Airbnb just after 5:30pm.

I'm not sure what I thought Palm Springs would be but it was definitely different than I expected. It's stuck somewhere in the 60s/70s with what might be a cool vibe or just a lame vibe. We ventured into "town" for dinner and ended up at this restaurant/bar that was good but odd.

I'm glad we stopped here for a little "getaway" but I'm not sure I need to come back. Maybe it would have been different if we'd stayed at one of the resorts. On the plus side, swimming around in the pool feels SO good after time in the car.

It's only 7.5 hours from here to San Fran but we can't check into our Airbnb until Friday so we're thinking of splitting today into 2 shorter days. More to come!

day 3: flagstaff, AZ


655 miles.

With our sights set on setting the Grand Canyon the next day, we thought Flagstaff would be a good stopping point.

We finished driving through CO and then into New Mexico. We reached Sante Fe, NM around lunch time and made a detour for a real meal (meaning not a drive thru). We stumbled upon this gem and thoroughly enjoyed some New Mexican fare. Haven loved that we were able to find a spot with a great patio for her to enjoy.

We then finished our trek through New Mexico and into Arizona. This was an uneventful day overall but the scenery was definitely beautiful.

After a couple long days, I was feeling good. There's been enough to see and do along the way and no one has been complaining about our frequent stops.

We checked into our fancy-schmancy LaQuinta around 7pm and hit the hay. Grand Canyon in the morning!

day 2: pueblo, CO


629 miles.

As you can tell from the title, yesterday's route changed a little bit. We had originally planned to head up to Fort Collins / Steamboat Springs but made a game-time decision to re-route towards the southwest to make a stop at the Grand Canyon.

The drive started off rainy and we were slightly concerned about the stuff in the roof rack but luckily everything stayed dry. We spent most of the day getting through Kansas and then into Colorado. This was definitely a less interesting day from the view perspective and not many other milestones along the way.

We made our usual stops at almost every rest area just to take advantage of the green space to stretch our legs. We also got gas pretty much every time we stopped.

I'm horrified by the food that we consumed yesterday - McDonald's and Dominos. But in our defense, we looked for better options but there were none.

Overall, the day was pretty uneventful. We listened to a couple episodes of How I Built This (Kickstarter and Aden & Anais!) and also a few episodes of Revisionist History.

So today, we tentatively have our sights set on Flagstaff with the plan to go to Grand Canyon tomorrow. We'll see what happens! The adventure continues.
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